Validation Won’t Save You. Only You Can Fight For Your Worthiness
Do you believe that you’re worth fighting for? When you’ve experienced heartbreak, it doesn’t feel that way at all. Typically you experience such gut-wrenching pain that you feel worthless, not good enough, and completely broken.
To hear someone tell you that you actually are worthy feels like a lie. How can that be true? Someone you had loved with all of your heart, and who told you that they loved you back, suddenly walked away. Or was taken from you.
The relationship that was your favorite thing in the world is no more. And the only person who fought to keep it going was you.
Who is worth fighting for? The person who was left, abandoned, rejected? That person is worth staying and fighting for, you say? Nah man, that can’t be true. If that were true, the one I loved would still be here. And I wouldn’t be completely alone, broken and without hope.
I had every single one of those thoughts and beliefs just two years ago when I went through the most painful, agonizing personal hell of my life. The loss of my marriage brought back all of my worst fears and beliefs that had been dormant for over a dozen years.
One of the most painful memories of my childhood was when a complete stranger told me I was unworthy of acceptance or love. She did it in an unconventional way. But I built my personal truth around her statement:
“You are the ugliest kid I’ve ever seen!”
Which led to me trying to prove my worth in every relationship I had. I thought I’d finally overcome it when I got married. Because finally someone saw the goodness in me, finally found me worthy of being loved. I didn’t fully believe it, but having someone else validate me must make it true, right?
This is the game we all play with our hearts
It’s a losing game. No one can make you valuable. Because your value is inherent in the fact that you’re alive. You’re a piece of Almighty Love (God/the Universe) walking around, whether you realize it or not. THAT is what makes you worth fighting for.
But we carry these broken pieces of our past, a distorted narrative, with us from childhood into adulthood. Sometimes it’s subconscious. We’re not even aware that these false and destructive personal beliefs are a part of us.
They’re hidden in our minds, like a dead body buried under the floor. Think The Tale Tell Heart and follow where that goes.
Because when heartbreak happens, that dead body suddenly acts like a zombie, and it’s all you can see. Everything that has life is its target. And it will stop at nothing until that life is no more.
The only one who can fight for you against the pain, the agony, and the broken past is you.
Why you’re worth fighting for is a decision that you make
You make this decision every single day. Until it’s the way you live.
This is what it means to be a solid person, someone who is whole even when trials, difficulties, challenges, and your worst fears are trying to knock you out of the game.
When I hit my worst low, and felt like all hope was lost, another memory from my past came back.
It was the voice of my old boxing coach. He used to yell “Be Solid!!!!” every day. I knew what that meant in the ring. A solid boxer can get hit by a hard shot that might knock him back, or knock him down. But it’s not going to knock you out.
And I didn’t want to be knocked out on life. There had to be a way out of the pain. There had to be a way to healing.
I wanted that way. And I wanted to not be broken anymore. But could I become a solid person after this heartbreak?
The story behind my personal transformation from feeling unworthy and experiencing the personal hell of heartbreak into becoming a whole person is the subject of my new book.
Be Solid: How To Go Through Hell & Come Out Whole is the entire process, method and journey I’ve used to become a new person after my life broke apart. If I can do it, and experience transformation after heartbreak, you can too.
Because I am worth fighting for. And so are you!
I’ve dedicated my life to helping people like you overcome your worst fears and obstacles. Heal from the personal hell of heartbreak and loss. Go through the process of becoming the best version of yourself.
How pain can be a catalyst for transformation if you let it
I’m inviting you into the journey of becoming whole and solid. Help me make healing & transformation a reality for more people.
We can change the world for the better. I want to empower you and others into choosing to fight for yourself. Because you’re worth it.
Originally published at https://dgrantsmith.com on April 11, 2019.
