We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know

The sacred power of asking a better question — especially when you’ve always felt like the black sheep.

Photo by Katja Anokhina on Unsplash

I spent a long time trying to fit into rooms where I didn’t belong.

Sometimes I didn’t know I didn’t belong — because I wanted to. I tried to talk like the others talked. I adjusted how I shared things so I didn’t stand out. I followed the formulas. I studied what seemed to work for others and mimicked it.

Why? Because at some point, I was told that’s how you make progress. That’s how you “play the game.” That’s how you survive.

But here’s the truth I now know with everything in me:

Fitting in isn’t the same as belonging.
Fitting in asks you to shrink. Belonging asks you to show up fully.

For a long time, I didn’t know there was a difference. And I definitely didn’t know that I was allowed to question the whole setup.

The Question That Changed Everything

The turning point came not from a breakthrough strategy or a perfect mentor. It came when I got curious.

I asked myself:

“Why do I care so much about doing it their way?”
“What if the life I’m trying to build isn’t even mine?”
“What else might be possible if I trusted my inner…